I'm Human, Too

I like to think that I've been pretty good about not really complaining about real life here. Sure, I complain a shitload about video games, but I keep my personal life out of it, for the most part. Still, every once in awhile, I want to whine and complain about life. Today is one of those days.

I'll start with my job. I really enjoy my job. I get paid reasonably well to do easy work. I'm an executive assistant for people I really respect and like working with. Almost one year ago, they hired this guy. Let's call him Mr. L. To this day, I have no clue what his complete function is supposed to be. He is rude, condescending, and refuses to work as a part of the team. He has essentially cut his entire department off from the rest of the company. He doesn't let anyone talk to anyone in his department. They have to go through him. He's constantly changing procedures without letting everyone know. So if you don't fill out a form or something, he refuses to do it. If I need something from him, I explain the procedure and he tells me, "Too bad. I'm doing it my way." He has accused other employees of sabotaging the company. More than once, one of the women in his department has broken down crying in the middle of the office. Since he started working for us, morale has hit an all time low. We are losing money because of re-doing jobs due to stupid mistakes.

I have always made it a point to keep my feelings and frustrations inside when I'm at work, but even I completely lost it one day and went crying into my boss's office. I was crying so much and was so angry and frustrated that I couldn't form sentences. Add that to the several times I've just broken down at home. And I don't break down. I'm not the cry-at-every-little-thing person I was 10-15 years ago. I'm strong and I don't let things get to me. Especially stupid things like some shitty coworker.

So why don't they get rid of him? Because in the entire company, there is one essential function that he performs that no one else can do. Plus, with the economy the way that it is right now, we're downsizing some employees, so the work is going to be spread thin already. So why don't I find a new job? I thought about it. But first of all, I refuse to let ONE PERSON chase me away from a job that I enjoy. Plus my employers respect and appreciate MY contribution to the company, too. Second, I'm going back to school starting next week so I'm going to be putting in fewer than 40 hours a week. I'll stay over 20 hours, though, so I'll still get medical insurance (which I'm required to provide for my son according to the child support agreement). With the economy the way it is, there is pretty much no way I'll be able to find a place that will let me work less than 40 hours a week, but more than 20. Third, this leads me to my next complaint about life in general right now:

My husband lost his job about a month ago. He got downsized, basically, so at least he can collect unemployment. He's been actively looking for a job this whole time and hasn't found anything yet. This week is that last week that I'm going to be working 40 hours. After that, my income is going to basically get cut in half. Over the last two years, I've been busting my ass to get our debt under control. Everything was finally looking up, so I decided to go back to school since our bills were actually under control. My health insurance premiums at work are increasing by 8% starting this next paycheck. Thanks to that check from Uncle Sam that's supposed to be rejuvenating the economy, we'll still be able to easily pay our bills for another month, maybe two, if we really tighten our belts. So he's still got time to find a job. This doesn't keep me from worrying a lot, though.

So I'm trying not to beat the crap out of my co-worker and I'm trying not to worry about paying my bills. That's a lot of work. Then yesterday, something else got put on my plate. My husband's oldest brother VERY unexpectedly passed away yesterday morning. He was 56. I'm really sad about that and I'm trying to be supportive of my husband. It was a harsh reminder that anyone can go at any time. My mother-in-law passed away last year. My husband and I think she's finally got someone to drive her to the mall in heaven now. ;-) My personal message to the two or three people who read my blog: Appreciate every day.

So I'm feeling really beat up right now. I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself. Really, I am. Venting here helps in a weird way. Quite a few of my friends are having tough times right now, so I certainly don't feel alone. I know that things will get better. And I also know that things happen for a reason. I may not know what that reason is right now, but I believe that I'll understand later.

Anyway, enough whining... OMG, DIABLO III is coming out!!! (Sorry, I had to do that!)