Rememberances

My brother-in-law's funeral was this past weekend. I helped out at the reception table. He was loved by a lot of people, so the funeral was standing room only. This was only the second time in my life I had ever been to an open casket funeral and honestly, I almost expected him to just sit up and ask for a beer with a big smile on his face. I've only known him for seven years, but that was long enough to know what an amazing guy he was. He was one of those jolly people that could make friends with everyone. I have no doubt that he's hanging out, playing sports, drinking beer, and giving his mom rides to the mall in heaven. He will be missed.

When we arrived at the funeral, I realized that I had been there for another funeral before. One of my oldest friends had committed suicide a week before Christmas in 1999. She and I were both 25. I had been friends with her since we were 5. Although I hadn't forgotten her, I hadn't actively thought about her, either. She has been living in that room in my mind where my cherished memories sit in rocking chairs and lounge around. They don't make themselves known, but if I need them, they're there with no need for searching. So today I decided to type her name into Google. I did not expect to find a short film about her life and her amazing art. The Sam I remember gave me photos of her tattoos and pierced nipples. She would write me letters when I was in college on the mainland and put black cat confetti in them, which would spill all over the floor when I opened them. I remember having conversations about what it felt like to have her labia pierced. As daring and as crazy as I was with parties and stuff I wasn't supposed to do, I always remember wishing that I had balls like Sam. Artists are often tormented. (Or they're divas like my dad...lol.) I remember having some amazing demons myself and I'm eternally grateful that they made me stronger instead of killing me. Sam wasn't so lucky. Still, I enjoyed watching this video because it allowed me to reminisce and it reminded me that as long as people we love are in our hearts, they will live forever.